Parkers Angel Day......

I just wanted to thank everyone for all the wonderful comments, flowers, messages, and everything else everyone did for us at this hard time in our lives. On Sept. 23rd we had a small burial for Parker. We actually got to bury him in my grandmas plot which is a comfort all in its own, since she was by her self and I didn't want him by himself so now they are together and I just love the thought of that :) Nic was able to give him a name and a blessing which was very nice and he did a wonderful job despite being terrified :) Just thought I would share some pictures of the Balloons Jenni got for all the kids to send off to Parker. There is also a picture of the beautiful flowers my friend Mallory did they were so pretty. Thank you again we are doing lots better I still have my good and bad days more bad then good still but I am doing better. I honestly don't know what I would do without the gospel in my life it would make this so much harder to go through. I wanted to share a picture with everyone that has been a huge comfort also my sister in-law Connie and our friends Melissa and Darcie got this for me and it is just PERFECT there are no other words for it just PERFECT!

Living my own worst nightmare!

For those of you that didn't know at the end of June we found out we were expecting our 4th! We went to the doctor and found out we were due March 1st, 2010. Everything was going great and normal as my pregnancies go. Morning sickness kicked in and then I started feeling lots better. On Friday Sept. 17th I expected that I had some sort of bladder infection or something of the sort, so I called the Dr. and he had me come in so we could get it taken care of before the weekend. I did all the normal stuff when you get there, checked in, got my weight checked, blood pressure, temp. taken, then waited for the Dr. to get in the room and tell me what kind of infection I had. He came in and looked over my charts and tells me I definitely have a UTI and wrote out a prescription for it. Then he has me lay on the table so we could listen to the babies heart beat. He puts all the goop on my belly and starts searching for the little sound i just longed to hear at that moment, nothing beats that sound when you are 16weeks and can't really feel the baby yet. That is when my nightmare of a night begins. We searched and searched for it he used 3 different dopplers saying it must just be the doppler or the baby is just a really good hider since we just heard the heart beat just 2 weeks before. After 45 min. of searching I knew something was not right, he called over to the hospital so I could go in for a ultrasound. I call Nic hysterical cause he is at work and I didn't want to do this alone. Off I drive to the hospital crying so I can hardly see the road. I get there and register and finally Nic got there to be with me. We go into get the ultra sound done. I lay down on the table again and as soon as I saw the tiny baby I knew it was not good. There was no heart beat he was measuring at 15 weeks so he had been gone for a week. My Dr. came in to explain what this means. There was no reason for it, nothing they could find on the ultrasound to explain what had happened or why this had happened cause it is not a normal thing to happen being in my second trimester. He says maybe we will get some answers after we deliver. He then tells me I needed to head down to labor and delivery right now and they were going to induce me right then. I was so overwhelmed at this point I couldn't even think. I then proceeded to call my mom and Nic called his. Then we made the long walk down to labor and delivery to do the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my whole life. I in my lovely gown and get all hooked up to an IV. They then come in and tell me everything that is going to happen. My mom and my sister get there and Nic's mom to be with us. They tell me it could take hours since I am totally closed and thick. They took a tiny little pills and put them by my cervix to put me into labor. It all started at 6 pm Friday night and at 2 am on Sat morning our beautiful and perfect tiny little baby boy was born. He was so perfect and there were still no answers to what had happened. They took his tiny little body and weighed him he was 2.8 oz and 5 1/4 inches long. We named him Parker Dell Christensen. The little and most beautiful little thing you would ever see. They bundled him up and handed him to me, we held him for a while then they took his tiny little body down to make some little plaster casts of his feet and hands for us then they took him down to the morg.Where the mortuary picked him up the next morning for us. We are going to bury him with my grandma so that his little body is not alone here on this earth. This is my worst nightmare coming true I have always said I never want to have to bury one of my kids and now I am going through it and it is the hardest thing I have ever done or been through. And I would not wish this upon anyone. I don't know what I would do with out the gospel in my life! I am so truly grateful that he his mine and will always be mine even though he is not here on the earth with us! I am sorry if this post is to graphic but I needed to get all these thoughts out of my head before I explode. I know it is going to take time and lots of it but I know I can get through this and since there are no medical reasons for why this happened I know it happened because our father in heaven had far better plans for him up in heaven and he was just so perfect that he just needed to come down here for a short while to get his body. I am so excited for the day when I get to meet my little Parker again! Thank You for everyone that has been praying for our family they are so much appreciated at this time and I can use all them I can get right now.
Nichole

Masen Funny

Mom: Amber, Masen stop fighting!

Amber: He is being mean and hitting me first!

Mom: Both of you be nice or your both going to time out

Masen: I am MAD SEE!!! ( as he points to his eye brows he has scruntched)

Preschool Graduation!

Amber and Mrs. Roper

Amber graduated from Preschool! I can not even believe she is going to be going to kindergarten next year! I swear I am not old enough to have a 5 year old :) I always said I wouldn't be one of those Moms that cries when they go to kindergarten, it was funny to go to he kindergarten orientation and get teary eyed just thinking about it! I guess I will be one of those Moms. LOL They had just a cute little program at her teachers church. They all got up and said what their favorite thing they did in preschool that year in preschool. My Mom and Dad and Jessica came and had made her some candy leis', she thought that was so cool! Thanks Mom and Dad and Grandma Christensen came and took lots of pictures :) ( she loves taking pictures )

Amber Posing for the camera

Amber Loved having Toby to go to preschool with

Amber and her little friend Kemarie

Mother's Day Brunch

I know I am sooooo behind! (Sorry) Amber had a cute little preschool Mother's Day brunch, it was so fun to go and just spend a little while with just her. First they went around the room and introduced their moms to everyone, it was so sweet they all would say who their mom was and what her name was and then what they loved about their moms. They would all say "this is my mom ______, and I love it when she plays games with me, or reads to me." Then we get to Amber's turn and she says " This is my Mommy Nichole and I Love my Mom cause she is BEAUTIFUL" I couldn't look at anyone I was on the verge of tears, I Love my little Amber she is always telling me I am so beautiful if that dosen't make you feel good about yourself I don't know what would. It is so nice to know I am the bestest person to my kids and it dosen't matter what anyone else says they love me no matter what! I Love all my kids and are so Grateful to be able to be a Mom! oh then they sang some songs and we ate some yummy treats together. and just spent some time one on one together.

Jaxen Turned 1!!!

On April 23rd my baby turned 1! It is crazy to think he went from THIS to.......

To This!!

He is the best baby! He is always happy and smiling! He is such a boy, give him a Basketball, Baseball,Football,Soccor ball or any kind of ball and he will think you are the best person in teh world! He will play all day with it or a car. He is really good at making the car noise too. He says Mom,Dad,Please,More, and his latest is aaaaammmmBer. It is so cute he crawls around the room yelling it. He is not walking quite yet but he stands up all the time and will take a couple steps but then gets scared and sits down. We always are saying how he is our middle child in the sense that he isn't as little as Amber was but not as big as Masen, He has Green eyes instead of the blue or brown teh others have and he looks alot like both of the other kids. It is crazy how it all worked out :) We Love our Jaxen and are so glad he is part of our family!!! It was funny on his birthday he was so tired and ended up falling asleep right before we were getting ready to do cake so we ended up giving all of his guests their cake and let him sleep then we woke him up so he could Digg into his cake! Well he hated it on his hands and was so mad when I put his had in it. Nic ended up giving him a fork and he ate quite a bit of it with a fork. The was a first for us all of our other kids dug right in. Hahahaha

Easter

We Had a Great Easter this year! We were all sick and had Strep Throat a couple days before but luckily we felt well enough to enjoy the weekend. I Love when Easter and Conference are in the same weekend! What a great way to remember our savior by listening to our Prophet and all of the other wonderful speakers talk to us about him!!! We have the Easter Bunny come to our house on Sat. instead of Sunday so that Sunday can be all about the real meaning of Easter. It is something my Mom has always done and has now become one of our traditions too! I think it is a wonderful idea and we love it! The Easter Bunny spoiled the kids against his year. The 2 oldest got those ball things that have a handle on them and you bounce on them and lots of other little things and of course Candy! Jaxen got some cute little animal cars. And of course Amber got a cute Easter Dress and a shirt, Masen and Jaxen got matching outfits and matching polo shirts for church. We had a fabulous Easter morning and it is so much fun now that we have older kids that understand that the Easter bunny was coming and going to leave them stuff. Amber was up at 7 and couldn't wait any longer for us all to get up so we let her wake the boys up so she could see what she had gotten :) After the first session of conference we went to my Moms and had some yummy food and a Easter egg hunt for all the kids then the Boys all went to the Priesthood session. It was fun to have a Family get together will all of us there. Even Jenni came and cheated a little on her bed rest ssshhhhh Don't Tell ;) I am so grateful for the savior and all the sacrifices he made for me! I Love this time of the year when we can remember it all and teach our children about the Resurrection and the savior!